This is a repost from last yr. My friend is in dire straits right now. I can't seem to focus on much more right now other than them and my job. I have no funny stories tonight or pictures of the barn progress. I will tell ya Critter has been amazing and understanding. I have not been to the farm much lately.
This post is about something that has been weighing on my mind for awhile and it has nothing to do with the Critter or the horses, barn or any of those things.
This is about life. I should tell you I have a full time job in accounting and I have been at my current place for 3 years. When I accepted this job I never knew I would find myself in the situation I am in. I have found myself in a place where I see my bosses as friends. One of my friends is in dire straights and I feel helpless. I see this man as a role model. I have so much admiration for him I can't begin to tell you. This is a man that faced situations that most people would have given up or drown in their own self pity. I love hearing his stories of all his travels around the world. I just really enjoy talking to him and hearing his views on life. He is a man that you are better off for having met him. This is a man that is in the battle for his life due to that dreaded of most words-Cancer. I am not his family but I know them. I do not know him as well as others. I have only known him a short time. I have only known him during work hours of the week. This is a man that to me we all can learn a lesson from. A man to me that is fair and very giving, wise and strong but will melt you heart when you see this man with his puppy. This is a man that is amazing! This man has been in a wheelchair for as long as I have been alive but has never stopped. He has traveled the world, been a civic leader, athlete and so much more. Its strange how the more I got to know him the wheelchair wasn't something I saw. I think that people know others on so many different levels that one person can be described by others in completely different ways. My description of him is of a insightful, kind,strong,intelligent,giving, humorous,hardworking,admirable and unstoppable!!!!!!
In talking to him lately I see a vulnerability in him. His seems so weak. I have never seen before and it make me so scared for him. His doctors have given him a timeline. He has fought this with such courage and I want to believe that he will be here for many years to come and this is my prayer for him and his family.
What do you say to someone who is facing this kind of illness? How can you let them know that if they need something, anything that all they have to do is ask? How do you let them know that they have made a profound impact on you? How do you let them know that you will be forever grateful for having known them?
By being there when you're needed the most...by praying for them...by dropping by casseroles...by calling and offering to go by the store or post office...by being you. When I was going through an extememly difficult time a few years ago, a friend (but not a best friend) just showed up and said "OK...I'm here to do whatever. Just point me in the right direction" and I have never forgot that gesture. Sometimes those in need don't know if people really mean it when they are told to call if they need something. Just doing it (and I know your loving heart is wanting to do something) is putting feet to words. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteDebbie
Say it. Tell him. And don't wait to be asked for help. Be there
ReplyDeleteScrappy Do, I'm very sorry. I never know what to do/say, either, but I think straightforwardness and sincerity are what I would most appreciate if I were in his situation. I wouldn't want people to avoid it or feel uncomfortable around me. Alternatively. I don't like to ask anyone for help. I do remember a time when I was incapacitated and two different family members came to stay with me for a couple of days each. Both wanted nothing more than to take care of me and help me. One of them constantly asked, What can I do? or Can I do this for you? Until I wanted to tear my hair out. I know she didn't mean to annoy me and I hated that I was annoyed when this person was there for me. The other person didn't ask. She just did. She cleaned, she cooked, she made coffee when she thought I might want it, and she was just there. I never would have asked her to clean my kitchen floor or my bathroom-I would not have been able to get those words out-but I was sure glad she did. I guess I'm saying sometimes actions speak louder than words. Dee said the same thing but much more succinctly:-) I'll be thinking of you and your boss.
ReplyDeleteThank Yall very much. I am trying.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard no to cry in front of him.
This is agongy for me and I cannot wrap my mind around or even imagine what the two of them are feeling.
It has been a long hard year. and now he is fighting new issues and I am just at a loss.
aww Scrappy..trying to figure out the right thing to say is never easy. You can say all kinds of things in your head that you think sound sympathetic, but somehow they just never fit the situation. All you can really do is say you care and that you'll be there for them in whatever way you can ..and then do it. :) I'll put your friend on my prayer list and we'll see great things happen...
ReplyDeleteThank You Kimber,
ReplyDeleteI know that with prayers, no matter what the doctors tell him. The Lord is the one that guides his life