It is a struggle some times to pull yourself out of an emotion that can turn so sour at any moment. I don't wish to live with my head in the sand and I don't want to live the life of a pessimist.

Where is the middle ground? Black and White thinking I know is not always best but it seems to me the most logical way to be. On the other hand not everything can be lined out in a neat little row.

A mental struggle on my part is pulling me and I don't know what to do or who to ask for help in understanding. I am a 41 yr old and I should at this point have it together and have a vision of what the next 20 years hold for me. Does one dare look that far ahead and try to plan? and if you do are you just setting yourself up for disappointment? OR the fact that one has not prepared and looked forward and planned leave one unprepared and with a sense of regret that did not plan ahead? This is my struggle.

What a way to start the New Year.

winding down this year or up for new year

I am coming of one of the best days of my life. Saturday was family portrait day. Now for some this might not be such a big thing so let me explain this is the first family photo op since I was 12 years old. I am 41 as of last Fri. and the gift I wanted most for Christmas and my b-day was family at the house and knowing we were all together and having a good time. Well I got my wish 10 fold. It was such a wonderful day I could not have asked for more.

ok found this pic done in 04 will post new one soon

Making the big switch from My Space. I am your average kinda woman just trying to make it through this world with as few as scars as possible. I was raised in the city. What I call the land of the living and now I live in the land of 1 convience store and a dollar store and we are lucky to have it.