It is a struggle some times to pull yourself out of an emotion that can turn so sour at any moment. I don't wish to live with my head in the sand and I don't want to live the life of a pessimist.

Where is the middle ground? Black and White thinking I know is not always best but it seems to me the most logical way to be. On the other hand not everything can be lined out in a neat little row.

A mental struggle on my part is pulling me and I don't know what to do or who to ask for help in understanding. I am a 41 yr old and I should at this point have it together and have a vision of what the next 20 years hold for me. Does one dare look that far ahead and try to plan? and if you do are you just setting yourself up for disappointment? OR the fact that one has not prepared and looked forward and planned leave one unprepared and with a sense of regret that did not plan ahead? This is my struggle.

What a way to start the New Year.